THE CAR COACH REPORTS: WEEK IN REVIEW 6-22-12
GOVERNUS ABSURDUM EDITION
A leprechaun, Darth Vader and cellulosic ethanol walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them and sees nothing there. Why? Because they’re all fictional!
Our government, in its infinite wisdom, is now mandating that oil refiners utilize cellulosic ethanol or pay fines. The problem? Cellulosic ethanol doesn’t exist. It never has. Back in 2005, the EPA thought that it would eventually go into production and that refineries would have access to it by now. It hasn’t. Not a single ounce of the fairy dust has been produced:
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/06/21/regulation-requires-oil-refiners-use-millions-gallons-fuel-that-is-nonexistent/
Yet the EPA has turned its back on refiners and is issuing fines. Sure, they lowered the original amount of cellulosic ethanol that refineries must incorporate into their oil but that’s akin to the FDA telling Pepsi they can add less schlopnine to their soda to prevent obesity. What’s schlopnine? I don’t know. It doesn’t exist either—I made it up.
Honestly, what has happened to this country? When did our government become such a huge, out-of-control bureaucracy that its employees would rather turn a blind eye to an issue that is costing taxpayers millions (because the refiners had to sue the EPA) rather than simply amend or strike down the mandate?
I don’t know what the amendment process would entail within the EPA but I would think that a basic analysis of the situation and few signatures would be all it would take. Wait a minute; this is our government we’re talking about.
Come to think of it, it probably would require the hiring of an outside contractor to present a 700-page report before congress detailing the lack of cellulosic ethanol producers in the U.S., how China would be affected, the importance of the Coriolis effect on backyard swimming pools, whether or not cows in central Brazil could still sleep standing up, a more efficient method for shipping live chickens via tractor trailers, and the average air speed velocity of an Unladen European Swallow.
It would only cost taxpayers $120 million for this report since the contractor would likely charge $171,000 per sheet of paper and the government would pay for it because the head of the EPA’s husband is said contractor.
Okay, so maybe I went a bit overboard here but you get the point. Either our government is fining the refiners because they can, or they’re unwilling to remove a mandate that is beyond ludicrous simply because it literally would take an act of congress. Either way, it’s unacceptable.
What are your thoughts?
Post your comments at http://laurenfix.blogspot.com/
My Final Thought
Normally, I’m pro-business no matter the size. They provide jobs, help the economy, provide health benefits, etc. But once in a while I read about a company that has become too big for its britches, just like our federal government. Today, that company is B of A:
http://jalopnik.com/5920334/bank-of-america-has-something-to-do-with-this-muscle-cars-disappearance
What are they thinking? Or are they thinking at all? Give the man his car back for crying out loud!!!
See you next week! Love Your Car! --Lauren Fix
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